I bleed it out. Digging deeper just to throw it away.
Truth is you can stop and stare, bled myself out and no one cares.
Dug the trench out, laid down there with a shovel up out of reach somewhere.
I can’t hold on to what I want when I’m stretched so thin. It’s all too much to take in.
I can’t hold on to anything watching everything spin with thoughts of failure sinking in.
I ask why, but in my mind I find I can’t rely on myself.
It’s easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb.
It’s so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone…
I can’t hold on when I’m stretched so thin.
I make the right moves but I’m lost within.
I put on my daily facade but then I just end up getting hurt again by myself.
What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams and give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I sit here and try to stand it?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
How do you think I’ve lost so much?
I’m swimming in the smoke of bridges I have burned. So don’t apologize. I’m losing what I don’t deserve…
I cannot take this anymore. I’m saying everything I’ve said before. I find the answers aren’t so clear. Wish I could find a way to disappear. I need a little room to breathe ‘cause I’m one step closer to the edge and I’m about to break.
Nothing seems to go away.
Memories consume. Like opening the wound I’m picking me apart again. You all assume I’m safe here in my room unless I try to start again. ‘Cause inside I realize that I’m the one confused.
I tightly lock the door. I try to catch my breath again. I hurt much more than anytime before. I had no options left again.
I don’t know what’s worth fighting for, or why I have to scream. I don’t know how I got this way. I know it’s not alright.